How to write better marketing copy to increase sales.

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A common mistake and a missed opportunity for many tourism businesses are understanding how to talk (and write) about yourself to attract and convert an audience.

In this article, I’ll demonstrate just how bad businesses are at writing messaging that appeals to potential customers and offer some alternative suggestions as examples of how to do better. Then we’ll cover a framework you can use to improve your brand messaging so you can attract and convert more customers.

If you have been reading here for a little while, you’ll probably know my family and I are indefinitely travelling around Australia. I’m currently writing from Coffin Bay, South Australia. I’ll use tour businesses operating down here on the Eyre Peninsula as an example of that.

I believe that more small businesses should succeed. Most don’t have the mentoring, skills and tools they need to improve their execution and grow their business.

In no way am I picking on these businesses. I am in the region right now with my family. Some of these businesses are very close to me. I hope one day they see this content and take something away from it.

For each of these example businesses below, I will pull out the first 4-5 headings you will find on their websites.

Oyster Farm Tours

What it currently says:

  • Coffin Bay Oyster Farm Tours (Main Heading)
  • Experience South Australia’s Seafood Frontier (Sub Heading)
  • Visit Oyster Farm Tours (Section Heading)
  • Experience wading out into the water! Welcome to Coffin Bay. (Section Sub Heading)

If it focused on the customer, here’s what it might look like:

  • Coffin Bay Oyster Farm Tours
  • The freshest oysters you’ll ever eat. Redefine farm to plate.
  • Wade the oyster farm in pristine waters of Coffin Bay.
  • Learn how oysters are farmed and discover the history of South Australian seafood industry.

Baird Bay Ocean Eco Experience

What it currently says:

  • Swim with Sea Lions and Dolphins (Main Heading)
  • Swim with Sea Lions and Dolphins Tour (Section Heading)
  • Swim with Sea Lions and Dolphins in one tour (Section Heading)
  • Totally wild and lots of fun! (Section Heading)

If it focused on the customer, here’s what it might look like:

  • A once in a lifetime chance to swim with Sea Lions and Dolphins.
  • Meet these beautiful animals in their natural environment.
  • Tick a swim with Seals and Dolphins off your bucket list.
  • Get so close you’ll feel like they are playing with you.

Rodney Fox Shark Expeditions

What it currently says:

  • Our Promise
  • Our Research
  • The Rodney Fox Story
  • The Andrew Fox Story

If it focused on the customer, here’s what it might look like:

  • Feel the indescribable excitement of diving with Great White Sharks.
  • Experience something rarer than once in a lifetime.
  • The only place in the world that has ocean floor cage diving.
  • For adventures, explorers and seriously brag-worthy moments.

Sometimes as business owners and managers, we’re too close to what we do to realise we’re not talking to customers how they need to hear it.

We talk about what we do and the product or experience features, and we fail to describe how we’re helping the customer achieve their wants, desires and aspirations.

We are all in business to make people’s lives better. To help them survive or thrive.

The beauty of the tourism industry is that we’re most commonly helping people become an aspirational version of themselves.

People want to feel like an explorer, an adventurer. They want to feel like they’re getting the most out of their life. Our customers work hard; they deserve to experience more. That’s what they believe, anyway. So that’s how you need to talk to them.

In the following article, we’ll unpack the messaging and give you a small framework you can use to improve your own brand messaging.


'An Absolute Must-Do'; the Book.

A concise framework to build a tourism business that people love, pay more for, and rave about.